The Cricket Relocation Program

Posted on: Monday, August 12, 2002
Posted at: 1:25 AM

The cricket population is at risk.

I would like to suggest an idea of non-lethal management of crickets—the Cricket Relocation Program.

To supporters of the Cricket Relocation Program, the cricket represents nature the way it is meant to be; to others, it is simply an annoyance. The former see the Cricket Relocation Program as a righting of past wrongs.

The cost of relocating a cricket is minimal. No permits are required to relocate the crickets. Overhead is kept low by using items already present in the domicile. Cricket gathering instruments and transportation containers are often as simple as a newspaper.

Gathering and transporting crickets shall be done with both care and consideration.

Crickets are typically located within the domicile by the aid of its chirping. Crickets which do not chirp may have expired. If a cricket’s vital signs are low, or non-existent, it is advisable to dispose of this cricket immediately.

Once transported away from the domicile, these crickets search out food and shelter, as well as opportunities to exercise and socialize with one another—far away from prying eyes.

Crickets will benefit from the Cricket Relocation Program. Safety risks, in terms of being poisoned, beaten, or victimized in any way, are minimized upon completion.

Cricket medical care will be limited to triage during the gathering and transportation phases of the Cricket Relocation Program.

Upon relocation, any and all cricket medical care will be cancelled.

Backed up by a rather large team of committed volunteers, I expect to launch the Cricket Relocation Program immediately following the publication of this post.

Questions and/or comments are directed to the Board of Directors of the Cricket Relocation Program.

Update: Wednesday, March 4, 2009

To date, 174 known crickets around the country have been relocated through the Cricket Relocation Program.

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2002-08-12  »  scc